Celebrating Milestones and counting Ebeneezer stones!

The best thing that ever happened to me was heart disease. My heart break brought me back to God. It brought me where I needed to be. My heart break allowed me to get to know God better. To truly taste and see that he is good and get to know his character. It brought me to the end of me. It made me understand I've got nothing to bring but empty hands. Nothing to hide and nothing to prove. Heart disease brought me closer to God and it has been worth every bit of pain I've endured. I would not trade what I've been thru for anything this world has to offer me. This world will leave you empty, but God never will.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 marks a very special milestone for me in my journey with heart disease. Doctors at first said I wouldn't live thru the weekend, but God had other plans. Then doctors said I have 4 1/2 - 5 years to live, but God had other plans. This year I celebrate 10 years since my diagnosis with congestive heart failure and cardiomyopathy. I also celebrate my 9 year wedding anniversary to my best friend, Steve. We chose to get married on that date just one year after my diagnosis to celebrate life and to give that date even more of a special meaning to us. What a ride it has been. I am extremely blessed to be where I am today. My path hasn't been easy, not at all but it's been good....so good. I've had many struggles and challenges over the last 10 years. Lots of unknowns and uncertain tomorrows. With all the struggles came tremendous blessings and opportunities I would have never had if not for the path I've been placed on while on this earth. When I was diagnosed with heart failure and told I had 1/16th of my heart actually working and that I would never survive without a heart transplant, it was then my faith was really put to the test. If was then I had to find out, was Christ really enough? Was he really all I need? From the very beginning, I can honestly tell you that yes Christ was enough. He was always with me. Always comforting me. Always giving me joy. I always knew I was in his capable hands and I knew something good was going to come out of everything I went thru. God truly can turn your struggles into an awesome ministry for you if you allow him to do so. I've been given a platform to share the love of Christ because of heart disease that I would never have had otherwise. I am amazed at what he has allowed me to do and grateful for every opportunity I'm given to share my story and to tell others about Christ. When doctors said there was nothing else they could do and that I would never improve, God showed he's still on the thrown reigning in grace and power. What man says is impossible, is possible with God. I'm so grateful to be where I am today with a heart function that is just 2% below normal and with my heart back at normal size. God literally touched my heart and reshaped it, remolded it and gave it strength for me to carry out his tasks. This is why I live. For his glory. I will forever be grateful and humbled by what he has done for me. Each day I give thanks and pray for discipline to be obedient to what he calls me to do every day. I see so many people struggle with what they believe God's calling is on their life. I believe each day he will guide you and let you know what he wants you to accomplish for him that day. Pray for discipline and take time to listen. I have people often times say to me that exercise is why I'm where I am today. I have to stop them and tell them....no it's not. It was prayer that got me where I am today. yes, I have to work in partnership with God and do what doctors tell me I need to do but there is no doubt in my heart where my healing came from and it was only because I had a touch from the masters hands. I did nothing to deserve this but he chose to bless me and I am so thankful. I've looked back over the last 10 years and I've seen how he has been with me every step of the way. He put certain people in my life, doctors, etc at just the right time. He supplied every single need I had before I even had the need. He was working on my behalf behind the scenes and I see all that now. Those are my ebeneezer stones. I can name them all but won't bore you with that but there are many. Take the time to go back over the last 10 or so years of your own life and count the times God made a provision for you before you even knew you needed it. You will be amazed. It's important to remember those. I am extremely blessed. It's really true what the Bible says about rejoicing in your struggles. They are what make you stronger and they are what helps you get to know God. I can honestly say heart disease saved my life and save me from myself. Thru it all, I have grown. I have learned more about God than I ever would if things had been smooth sailing the last 10 years. He not only reshaped my physical heart but also my spiritual heart. I have a heart for people that I would not have had without my struggles. This song by Josh Wilson sums up what I'm trying to say. I hope the words touch you too. It's call Fall Apart.

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise

Now it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You

And it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me

My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart